🪷Last night, at the end of my prayers, I saw the short, faint image of a black child, a girl, with messy, ruffled hair, seemingly waiting for someone to define it, curl by curl.

Amongst the many possible interpretations, considering my inner state and journey, I concluded:

Remembrance is like caring for curly hair! You gotta do it every day, to define it, to take each curl in part and soothe it with the tools that suit you best, after trying countless methods to find what works for you. Today you braid it, tomorrow you go for the dreadlocks, the day after you just let it be. Your wisdom and good pride are held inside and nothing can really change that. It's more about how you perceive it rather than what it actually is. Which always is, yet isn't always seen as such.

What a wonder that there are so many kinds of curly hair! What luck that each time one defines it, it looks a bit different! In the end, it's literally the same hair. It just looks and makes one feel different. That's remembering God to me. And it is so by design. Because the sweetness of remembering is incomparable, unpredictable, and each time unique. But then comes a day when we wake up and realize that definition is a social construct. And that hair, defined or not, still holds the same value, beauty and infinite potential. God's always there, perception's the one that changes, just like hair 😊.

As I was reinventing the wheel, the girl in front of me ran off to play and laughed in my face at the idea of me thinking she'd like her curls defined in that moment. She was just calling me out to play, I got it all wrong once again!!! Haha 🤡⭕

P.S. Jah Rastafarai! Representin' in a beautifully defying curly manner! Showing us what it means to be LOCKed in. And as much as I DREAD forgetting, eventually, I can only surrender in complete understanding. It's too perfect. I have nothing to add nor to take out for it to be better. Because when it comes back, I grasp it all over again. And I remember something that my Soul knows all along - Peace.

Another thought that struck me right after:

ᴀ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴏɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ

When it's all said and done, rather than thinking about how others are going to remember me, I'd rather think about how I would like to remember me.

Jai Maa!

One Love 💚

🌺This was the Play.

#foolsjourney #lila #animamundi #loveisthelaw #loveunderwill #freedomfrequencies

Let me explain why. It changes your position, it challenges your homeostasis. So now, from walking with your hands in your pockets, whistling on carefree rhythms, you suddenly have a pen in your hand. And so you gotta start walking with this pen in your hand. Sure, you can put it in your pocket, but it has personality, it wants to be in your hand. If you put it in your pocket, you suddenly find yourself back in time, in the moment where the pen was tapping your shoulder. This is a magic pen. So you gotta pick it up and hold it in your hand. 

It seems useless this pen, and it kinda makes you feel uncomfortable. Very controlling. Plus, along the way, it starts feeling heavier and it starts getting bigger. Weird pen for sure. You try to pretend to drop it, hands back in your pockets and a faster walk, maybe it won't notice. Aaaand you find yourself back in the moment where the pen was tapping your shoulder. It becomes annoying at this point.

You start realizing that there's more to the story with this pen. It's a process this pen wants to have with you and it seems it exclusively wants it its way, and not only that, but here-now. It doesn't really give you any other choice. It wants to be in your hand and wants to be carried in that specific, weird manner. Not only this, but anything you do to take distance from the pen, it has the power to take you back in time, right to the beginning of your walk.

Now at this point you realize that pens don't tap shoulders in reality and that you surely are in a magical realm where things work a bit differently than you're used to. You start looking at the pen with interest, more than annoyance, and you see something you didn't see before. This pen bleeds, and for a while now, you’ve been leaving bloody trails behind. You remember all the times you've seen it bleed and all the colours it bled. From royal blue to rosy red, golden honey, sky turquoise or nightly black.

You start asking yourself why would a pen bleed like that, besides being in a magical realm where all things are possible? You look at it with compassion and empathy. You also remember how bleeding feels like. Inside and outside. 

As soon as you ask yourself the question, a huge comfortable bean bag made out of bright green moss appears on the side of the pathway you were walking onto. In front of it, a small round table and on it, a pergament. In front, the sunset. A new scene has been casted into this reality as result of a certain need the pen seems to have. You sit and you allow the pen to bleed. It doesn’t bother you that much anymore to surrender to the world of this pen. It’s actually…quite pleasant. You sit and you allow the pen to fulfill its need, its dharma, its role and its play. 

And then it starts making sense. Ancient connections are rewired and you remember. You remember right then and there that this is how it always goes. You remember that the pen is your best friend, to put it lightly, and that before your walk, this was the contract you both signed. A mutually beneficial exchange of creative flow. A mutual back scratch that leaves no ink behind and no feelings unexpressed.

Because after you read that bloody pergament you helped the pen write, you suddenly realize you’ve been hypnotically writing down all that you've been pushing deep down into those pockets of yours. Hundreds of colorful sticky notes start flying out of your pockets, each screaming its own message, then dissipating along with the sunlight. Your pockets are so light now, you begin floating in the air.

The pen stopped bleeding and you started crying. Relief. Release.

Well, this is one of my successful attempts to take me out of overthinking. Looks like pretty good Alchemy to me. And so it is 💚

Don't hoard that ink, regardless of the color, help your pen bleed with intention! Jai Maa 💚

One Love 💚

🃏I added some "vinete cu maioneza" (la care-am pus yo niste ceapa🫣) to the mix. It's from my two Romanian friends that form a beautiful couple and family. He specializes in "salata de vinete". Rightfully. We meet often when I am at work. Now it was their turn to serve me food, apparently haha. I am grateful they gifted me a little piece of home.

🃏We say "dragostea trece prin stomac", which literally means "love goes through the stomach". We connect it to how food can make you fall in love even more with your partner, when they're a good cook. Of course we took it a delusional step further and affirmed that a woman's not a good wife if she's not a good cook😂, but we're drastically changing the program, so that the subtitles are Right, cause wtf haha. Anyway, the culinary cultures in "firey" communities are always unvaluable treasures on "their lands". Romania is one of them. Food definitely defines entire communities. Certain meals on certain lands give resourcefulness, plenitude, passion, love, warmth. Just thinking about it hits close to home. You feel me?

🃏It was just me who ate. But by the looks of it, a family of three was present. I guess I played ,,mama, tata si copilul" this Monday evening, at dinner. Here's to Family and realizing the Reality, Expansivity and Truth of it.

One Love💚

🌶️Life's wiser when you don't scratch your eyes after touching hot pepper😉. I used, in each, a bit of red hot chili pepper seeds that grew on the balcony. It was the second one the plant gave birth to! The first I used to make happen other hot pepper plant babies and it worked!

🍀It's not much that grew on this balcony, but it's honest work😂 having mini-versions of them definitely invites me to keep expanding my horizons, to keep doing it and forgive myself for the fuckups. It's half the story, Right Maa?😊

One Love💚

Alton Ellis - Willow Tree

🃏Right before finishing today's meditation, this memory came to me: it was my dad teaching me how to draw a tree. And he was showing me this trick where you leave a bit of space in the trunk and from there, you extend it so that it seems a branch has been cut off.

🌳Smelling a revelatory moment, I looked up what are the various reasons we cut trees' branches: pruning/trimming is done to maintain tree HEALTH, SAFETY and APPEARANCE. Removing dead, diseased, or damaged branches improves the tree's overall HEALTH and VIGOR! Now we move into the spiritual and translate it there and I feel that is exactly what this Full Moon invites us to do! So let's look closely and cut some branches, the ones that do more bad than good by being there, affecting the whole system long term. A small "ouchie" for a Higher Goodie. Take care of your Trees, from Root to Crown and beyond!

📷Photo is not really related to the text (or is it?), but my dad took it and sent it to me, saying he was touched, felt a bit melancholic and sad seeing the Sir. There's too much coming out from the Sir's whole vibe and demeanor so that I can put it into words. He seems all-encompassing and I can see him laughing from top of mountains at 34 and crying next to the willow tree at the lake at 99. Or the other way around. What does he wake up in you?

What branches are you still avoiding to cut even though you KNOW/feel they started rotting on the inside? It's just you got so used to the way the tree looks now, you just can't decide for a cut. How would that cut look to the outside and HOW WOULD IT FEEL to cut omggg😱😱😱 it's scary and I think precisely that fear is half the lesson. It be so when you are/finally become your own tree cutter 😂 now don't start cutting and never stop. That's not the best idea either. Discernment, am I right?

One Love💚

🦋Anyway! I went dancing a couple of weeks ago. Someone told me that I dance "como una mariposa" (like a butterfly). "Oh, stop it you!" I didn't say, but I laughed and showed them my earrings, little fairy wings, it was the first time I was wearing them. I got them when I visited mamacita in the UK. Then I stopped and took a better look at me. I realized my flared pants and red, loose shirt were also summoning the embodiment of a butterfly. In a room, I am always looking for the place with a lot of space, where my hands can go high and wide and my feet can open their wings and put on their show. That's why I like to go dancing during the week, it's not too many people on the dancefloor. 

🦋Anyway! For years I have manifested the butterfly. My old Instagram stories were full of butterflies. I was playing with the concept and symbolism of it, without really realizing I was calling in something greater. Well, the butterfly came to me, metaphorically and invaded my insides with color, joy and light hearted motions. I got to realizing how the Butterfly Effect cannot be controlled, but that it can be admired from "the future". If we slowly and carefully follow the chain-reactions of our lives backwards, oh the wanders we discover - the patterns and the power of initially "small" choices. It's the white🐇, the Highest Timeline synchronicities that bring us precisely in the place where we're supposed to be. Tastes like honey, if one cares to take a sip😊

🦅Now, along with the Butterfly, I started playing with the Bird, the Peacehawk is how my Youtube channel is called. I guess I simply started loving more consciously embedding myself with the elements of nature. Not that I wouldn't be one of them, but we were honored with the awareness of roughly putting the self into their places and spaces and observing how their stories unfold in the life of humans. Such a superpower we had the honor to receive, so magical and playful if we really look at it!

#pachamama

🦋Without realizing we are setting butterflies in motion every step of the way, literally! Becoming conscious of it gives us tremendous gifts. Like the liberty of time travel to actually put our finger on what we've been setting in motion with our actions/inactions. The Universal ripples are so real it blows my mind.

🦅So now I am exchanging the wings of a butterfly with those of a bird and vice-versa. Those of the bird mean flying higher, it means even less fear, so the practice's still in motion. But I'd definitely rather have Light wings than something rougher, denser, like a past where I blame, victimize or shame.

One Love💚

#paradigmshift

Paul Izak - Blossoming

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🍀Anyway, here's a picture with the girls last night! We had self-care. Oh, co-creation! Jai Ma!

One Love!💚

#recycling #divineplay

🎠Had never visited a closed Fun Fair until that day. I felt as excited, maybe more, as visiting an open one. Probably because it was a new experience for the 🧠. Thrilling too! Felt I was doing something I was not supposed to😂. It was like I was stepping on the boundaries of a sacred space that was now asleep. Even if I said please and thank you, I still almost tiptoed around. I just couldn't bring myself to "go crazy" haha.

🎢Without all the stimuli, I could actually look around and truly see the details waiting to be noticed. Felt the ghostly presence of everyone who was and everyone who will be. Gosh, how many bodies these machines have carried the weight of, how many screams, laughs, cottoncandy, excitement and energy they've been circulating. Most importantly...HOW MANY KIDS AND INNERKIDS THEY'VE BEEN ENTERTAINING. Quite the job these machines have. Kudos to them and the ones carefully maintaining the order and safety.

🧝‍♀️The vendors, too, play a huge part. I remember the sir who sold us cotton candy on the day we visited during opening hours. His candy-filled apron sweetened the deal even more! Or that lady's leather fannypack safekeeping all in one place in such a crowded space.

⚡The intertwinement of spirits at the Fun Fair is truly in a way, hard to say, but it makes me think of big guardians watching over everyone's safety, happy to see them happy. The spirits never sleep at the Fun Fair. Similar to a Circus. There's some kind of mystery, right? Probably because they gather so much information from all the places and spaces they go. And then, there's just their ghostly presence that remains. Places and people made to be always on the move, I'd even go as far as calling them gridworkers. Because, for a second there, everyone's filled with joy - you can't really think about the past or future while spinning uncontrollably in the sky.

🪬I like Ma in these shapes and forms. Went "crazy" during opening though. Innerkids felt 🆓, screaming😱 and joyful🥰! Declared grateful!

P.S. Some well-done graffiti and a kitty also kept me company.

One Love💚

#recycling #energycirculators

💡Did some Shadow Work today. Smoke a cig too. It surely doesn't taste the same🤢. Tried to dance it off with Ace of Base, but anxiety creeped in as soon as it got the chance! I am translating it these days as "you don't belong here anymore, leave in peace and please do not return". And so it is.

🧬I felt like eating sweets today, and so I did, even though I feel called to give up on sugar as well (there was a time when sugar was fuel for my energy, well not anymore, apparently, I'm allowing that illusion to break free). I swear that in the past month and a half I left behind more habits than I did all my life🤣. I stopped smoking and coffee on 28th of January, and don't even get me started on mental and emotional traits I'm shedding. I'm keeping the tears though, I think I came with them by default, and they're quite a smart technology for this job.

🍯I put way too much salt in my breakfast today, and that cheese didn't help either, so it ended up in the bin sadly😅🥲. But I got the message, these twists of the Planets and the Moon these days are making me salty...ah well...mysterious are God's ways.

🃏I wanted to go to a nice place to write and I ended up eating in a fast food place🤣 how about that. They were the only ones open till late, so I went upstairs, because when I start writing, only God can stop me - today it was from 17 to 20. And so I finished another notebook and the last 4 pages I burned - this was the command - and so I followed. 'twas about some curses I needed to break and writing is my way, my 🍒 on the 🎂. The best part in all this every time is that it comes naturally over me, I just basically have to take the pen and let it be.

🐱🐶 I am realizing I'm more like the cat these days. I used to rock the dog model, but they are over, those days. A cat for now is what I am okay to be, if that is what's next in me embodying my energy. I got a perfume with a cat today and a surprise egg with the Catwoman as well. What more do I need to pick up on the sign? Nothing, I'm pretty okay with this intuitive design. I got the flow of how God speaks to me, so now I just have to be very attentive, that's it.

One Love💚

#recycling

🦋𝟎𝟓.𝟎𝟑-𝟎𝟔.𝟎𝟑.𝟐𝟓 The day the little butterfly and I looked at each other and said "𝐎𝐡! 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐈!". And it was I all along, because to get to "Us" and truly hold that space for All, You gotta be well rooted into your own soul.

💡So yeah, I admit, I allowed my self to be selfish at this time, to self-center and learn my own energy signature, rhytm and rhyme. Have you ever actually done that? Took time for your self to get to know who you are? Do you know how hard that can be?🤣 There are thousands of attachments continously pulling on your energy. The past, present and future, they all become one ball embedded with all kinds of "let's-call-them-things" that you now gotta juggle. And it's like when you decide to do it, too, they become more forceful, it's subtle abuse on you. Then you start to wonder "is that mine or yours?", then you start to go like "doesn't matter, I'll alchemize this shiet, make the best of it", but then you remember you've done that all your life, cause you 𝙖𝙧𝙚 an energy magnet, you didn't become one. So you go back to setting boundaries, transmuting the guilt, remembering that God's with you through all of this shit🤣, and at the same time staying in the knowing that energy projection is an offering.

🧠Don't even get me started on the mind, cause it's her that makes the heart go fricking blind (even tho' I'm doing my best not to blame anyone). They commune until you actually feel almost fine, in a line, then the mind does a trick and poof, you're back to square one. That stomach pain is proof, ain't it, hun?

⚡No, but for real to get to actually stand in your own energy, there's sooooo much to filter through, it truly amazes me - especially if you don't go on a mountain and sit with you, within. It's fun to think that I am doing this all, just to basically go back and help the Collective from a cleaner vessel, to be a cleansed source. I'm succeeding, too, I always keep the course. And when I "fall", that's just God delivering lessons.

One Love💚

#recycling

🃏Again on the 🧠Journey🫀 today. I've been playing with the concepts of Light and Shadow - Highest and Lowest Self and what that now means to me for some days. So some answers were due to come my way.

⭕It felt like some kind of integration...some merging today. I wrote in my journal after some time today. The words stumbled at the exit, but rolled out on my tongue anyway. Thoughts were chasing one another today. I felt like coming out of my skin today, because someone else was coming in to play. I understood that I wasn't in the way, it was just the Light-Shadow, Old-New interplay.

💡I had some really good realizations today. I call them downloads, cause it sounds in a way😎,

but these thoughts all rushing over me seemed more like coming in to "click" and leave. I am an Air sign so I play hard with Swords, probably why it seems like right when I open my 💚, there's yet another thought to be had and explored. So today my insides were fighting, and it took me a second or two to realize they're merging. Why does integration feel like an internal fight all the time? Like "yo...we're battling for the Highest Good of the same person here; chill down". 🤣

💡 I understood a bit more about energy today,

and it hit me how Shadow protects us, same as the Light, so they both are fighting the good fight. Not that I didn't know, but now I have the 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜. Cause for a second there, I saw my Shadow as needing more help, when it is I with the Shadow in front who shares all of this here.

🌹To face all my fears and be who I am, that is me speaking from the deepest Shadow realm. Sure, I do it Light(ly), cause I trained that too, but it is indeed the interplay of these two.

🌌And so I gave my thanks to God in the way I knew, by caring for plants and planting some new.
So grounding I shall do and grounded I may stay, in writing, music, planting and whatever else God brings in the play.

One Love💚

#shadowandlight #recycling

💡And yes, maybe by the end of it we'll realize how the law of detachment truly works, we'll enter the knowing that we actually know nothing and we'll be gifted with the presence of the here and now. But we cannot play pretend, because with it comes the whiff of ignorance, arrogance, pushing the self under the rug and overall bypassing. Along with them follow low self-worth, self-sabotage, self-entrapment and believing our own lies.

Don't get me wrong, I am a strong believer in the fake it till you make it kind of vibe, but for the right causes and at the right times. Like on a day when you don't feel that grateful, but you still decide to give it a try. It's a life-long journey, but to even start, it needs committing.

To get to how I started this story, I believe we need to go through everything we are not. And to do that, we need to self-dissect and shed, in love, compassion and a large scoop of empathy. All dedicated to the self. Micro-macro, above-below, within-without. If one is blooming, then blooming will come. If there is root rot, then rotted is the crown. Stay faithful and fair out there! So while you thank God for your blessings, look in the mirror as well.

✍🏻I've been seeing this quote by Carl Jung quite a lot recently. It pretty much encapsulates my message: If we don't work with making the unconscious conscious, it will direct our life and we will call it fate.

One Love💚

#knowthyself

💡But only if you wish to unchain your heart and open it widely to giving and receiving unconditional love. How consciously are you playing with your attachment style, be that dismissive, preoccupied, fearful-avoidant or Master-lvl (secure type)? If you think about how you treat your parents, do you find yourself mirroring their behavior when it comes to attachment? Do you act different with mom than with dad? It's interesting to analyze this in adulthood. Of course, other relationships count, too, but with your parents, you still have that soft spot of regression when they're around. So you can clearly see some things about the self. And you may not like it all the time.

👏Attachment may be one of the hardest facets to filter through, but luckily we have 5834728 relationships and people to practice with. It's a lot of this one that we practice in reverse🃏 and end up hurting others and ourselves in the process.

👶So it’s important to rewind a lil’ bit (you’ll hear me say this a lot) and take a look at our key attachments. Those would be the ones our caregivers formed with us in childhood, but also in between themselves. How did the family treat one another? How did they care for, understand, be present, listen, TRUST and truly see one another? Were your parents best friends or looked more like business partners? And who did you choose as your model to carry into your own relationships?

🗝️Unlocking it means securing the self in its own individuality. That's why most things we heal in us come down to self-love. Because when you get it from yourself, you feel secure and can give from a full, well-rounded cup. And if the cup suddenly empties, you’re wise enough to know how to handle that as well.

⚗️🪄So let’s continue to alchemize and secure our attachment styles for the Highest Good of All!

P.S. I am on the anxious spectrum, but I’ve made tremendous progress, if I say so myself 😂 homeostasis rocks💎!

One Love💚

#attachment

oh...i’ll always be a rollercoaster. it’s because i juggle so many emotions at the forefront of my being. still working on doing that graciously and consistently though. so that i can actually enjoy all of my rides. cause i admit, after some, imma shit my pants or puke my guts out cause i love me some crazy rides, that i prepare myself for WHILE having them...

sometimes i forget to remember to be THE rollercoaster, and not IN the rollercoaster. being the car, the driver and the passenger are 3 completely different vibes, especially when it’s your device...

we were all born more or less already in the passenger’s seat of our own cars/rollercoasters/spaceships and we’ve all been waiting to say Enough!

some be fighting who to drive YOUR car next. keep it tight! i know you hear me loud and clear.

i dread hiding how i feel, it takes up sooo much good energy. ironically, i became quite good at doing it, because the way me coming out of my shell has been handled did not feel proper to me. so i naturally went to Psychology and learnt how to do it myself. i know you hear me loud and clear haha.

even though i choose not to present my “bad” side to many, because it’s for me to deal with in private, i never forget that as i am Light, i am Shadow. that helps keep things humble and keep my ass in line. but not to the point where i feel bad for truly loving my self or for setting the boundaries i wasn’t setting before. not anymore. i know you hear me loud and clear.

a good next step for me would be accepting that grace and consistency are not a one size fits all. and that since i am me, i get to decide how those look like and define for me. i know i may seem like i'm missing some screws, but that's fine. i'm only missing the ones that were pretending to hold me together. i hope you still hear me loud and clear.

to me, being an Alchemist means to feel it ALL, knowing you are in full power of transmuting it ALL. to be an Alchemist is to have the courage to be fully human and hide from nothing - emotionwise (that's energywise as well) - facing demons and whatnot, as they say. shadow work, as it's been called. it goes against my dissimulation tactics, i know. or do they actually go hand in hand? to be further analyzed...

to have the courage to face the shitstorm i bring the self into/ the self is brought into and know that i am the Light at the end of my tunnels. i am made of human flesh and Light. that's all there is.

the rest is Alchemy.

stay gentle and kind, Diana. remember we are all

One. Love.💚

#recycling

Happy Mother’s Day!

One Love💚

Today it feels like a sad day. I don’t know why, it just feels that way. Outside is cloudy, my insides feel the same. Man...this spiritual warfare is really no game. Even though I keep emphasizing how much I love the Play, when it's serious bussiness…damn son! if I may.

So what can I do or say, then keep calm and hang in there, knowing the timing’s always right, even if it may look like delay?

It's dad's birthday today. I hope that he’s okay. He has a special vibe to him, always bringing in info from the lower realms within.

On these kind of days all you really gotta do is remember clearly that your feelings are not you. I pray to God, even if I feel God's far away from me (probably engaging too in this warfare journey) and I keep up the faith, it’s now a part of me.

I feel, deep-deep-deep and subtle, a desperate clingling to remember. I don't want to forget all that I lived - the flow - but how could I, if now that's all that I know? Free the world or die trying is my motto, ain't it? And believe me or not, I'm talking about the world within. 

Be like water, the little me was writing on a piece of paper.

Good advice right there, kid, I took it after I left it again and again and again and finished all my cycles as a control freak.

Now my water's flowing. It may look unclear, even nasty at times, but the water’s flowing, always showing up. And when I reach this phase, but now I know the flow, I cannot help but remember it all and take a humble bow. And when I do that, it's quite hard to stop my drill, because no matter how it looks to you, I know my water's always clear. Think about lymph drainage or how we take out the trash. My water's waterfalling and all that dirt transforms into energetic cash. I am wealthy in Spirit, that may not be enough for some, but look, I put my pain in writing and I avoided the clash.

Keep calm in the storm, the storm visits to pass, transmute your obscure waters into gold and leave it for the others who're taking this class.

As my right leg tattoo clearly states, walk your talk and may your feet walk undisturbed by the currents!

And so it is.

One Love 💚

#enercycirculators #recycling